


tide pools in summer

by Carinadeluca



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Death, F/F, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 03:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30032109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carinadeluca/pseuds/Carinadeluca
Summary: “Andrea!” Carina called back to her brother, who was struggling to descend the slowly sloping cliffs. Whereas Carina was all legs and skinned knees, Andrew was round-faced and slightly bow-legged, his curls sticking to his forehead in the hot Sicilian sun.A brief exploration into the DeLuca Siblings.
Relationships: Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Comments: 18
Kudos: 89





	tide pools in summer

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just trying to cope here.

**_“Andrea!”_ ** _Carina called back to her brother, who was struggling to descend the slowly sloping cliffs. Whereas Carina was all legs and skinned knees, Andrew was round-faced and slightly bow-legged, his curls sticking to his forehead in the hot Sicilian sun._

_It had been a rough year for them, their father had an “episode” as mama called it. Carina didn’t know truly what it meant, but she knew it wasn’t okay. As soon as school had ended they were shipped off to Nonna’s house in Catania. Mama had packed them each a small suitcase and escorted them via bus to their grandmother’s house from Palermo. Their father had been working at the hospital and had not even said goodbye. Andrea had cried in their mother’s arms for nearly twenty minutes when she had to leave the following morning, but Carina had said her goodbye’s in a sunny voice and tried to coax Andrea back into the house with the promise of cookies._

_The fresh air and sun had done them well. They were given so much freedom here. Nonna lived in a small village right outside the city and everybody knew their name. They’d coo over Andrea’s curls and sweet demeanor and comment on Carina’s beauty and humor. They’d send them home with treats and messages for Nonna._

_Carina fit right in, making friends with the neighbors she recalled from past visits. They’d joke and play. They’d gossip over the American TV shows they watched and mimicked their accents, sometimes having no clue what they said._

_Nonna doted on them the only way a grandmother could. Sure she could be firm at times, Carina knew that first hand having gotten swatted a week into her stay for not being home at sunset, but she was loving. Nonna knew every food you liked, remembered stories about friends, and was so easy with her affections._

_Andrea had grown here, gotten out of his shell a bit. He still clung to Carina and her friends joked about her little shadow, but they slowly became his friends too. Mateo and Vittorio taught him all about football and while he was not the most athletic, Andrea had spirit. Lucia loved playing house with them, Andrea always willing to play the role of the baby. Andrea spoke up more, started defending himself, and joked along with kids - some almost seven years older than him._

_Even now, as they descended the cliffs, he was cautious but curious. He caught up to his sister and gave her a bright smile._

**_“Carina, I did it!”_ ** _And she patted her brother on the back as they began to search the tide pools for sea creatures._

_Andrea had a knack for this, his patience outlasting his older sister’s. He’d flip over snail shells and examine them or throw seaweed at Carina with a giggle. Carina took out-of-focus pictures with a disposable camera their mother had packed for them so that they could show her the adventures they had._

**_“Andrea, smile!”_ ** _And Carina took a photo of her baby brother, starfish in hand, and looking up at her with the biggest grin she’d ever seen, one tooth missing and his shirt dirty with sand._

* * *

“How old were you here?” Maya asked, tracing a finger over the photo of Andrew. They’d been at this all weekend, Carina caught up in the nostalgia of it all as she coped with the devastating loss of her baby brother.

“I must have been...ten? Andrea was almost six. His birthday was at the end of the summer.” Carina had no more tears to shed, but her heartfelt so empty. The only brightness had been Maya, but even then, her light was more like a lone candle, just giving off enough light to survive. 

“We were at my grandmother’s house all summer. We went almost every year but this was the first time our parents left us alone all summer. I loved it so much, Maya. The town, my family, it was amazing. I used to hate that our parents move us so far away from it all, but Palermo had a better hospital and my father wanted to work at the best. We had an uncle in the city, but it was so much better in Catania with my grandmother. Our cousins would visit and we’d have these wonderful parties. Nonna always let me have the tiniest glass of wine at dinner with her and I felt so grown up. And I played with Andrea and our friends. We all looked after him, he was the baby - you know? Little Andrea who just wanted to keep up with us.”

Carina moved onto the next photo, a close-up of her and Andrea that their Nonna had taken later in the summer. Carina’s skin was dark, her hair messy from a day playing outside. Andrew was missing both his top teeth, his tongue poking out as they made silly faces. 

“You should make a copy and frame this one,” Maya commented gently, not wanting to put too much pressure on her girlfriend, but wanting to let her know that it would be okay to remember. “By the TV - right on top of those books. It’d look good there.”

Carina nodded at the suggestion and tucked the picture to the side. 

There were photos upon photos in all these boxes, meticulously sorted and labeled. It was something their Mama had started when they were young and Carina kept up with it. 

There were photos of Nonna and their cousins. Of the rocky beach and Nonna’s house that now belonged to her cousin Rosa. There were photos of their mother and every so often their father. Carina explained to them all and Maya listened, smiling and asking questions and laughing at the antics of the Deluca siblings. 

“I wish I could have gone back with Andrea one last time, you know? There is so much I wish, but I wish that the most. To go to the beach with him and play in the tidepools. He’s so smart, he’d surely start rattling on about starfish and their DNA. I used to be so much bigger and faster than him, but he’d beat me now. He’d have to help me on the rocks and tease me about it.” Carina said wistfully, leaning into Maya’s shoulder as she looked at a photo of Andrea and their mother on easter. Their mama was so beautiful and Andrea looked so handsome dressed up in his church clothes. Carina remembered taking the photo. It was only a few months later that their mama moved Andrea to the United States and Carina stayed behind. 

“I know it won’t be the same, but maybe you can go there? When things settle down more. You can go and I know Andrea won’t be there with you but you can...I don’t know. Maybe it will help to say goodbye. It could be at one of your favorite places where you can imagine that cute little face of his.” Maya was slow with her words and was relieved at Carina’s acceptance.

“One day. I don’t know when I’ll be ready, but one day.” Carina accepted a kiss on the head from Maya and breathed in heavily. The scent of Maya’s shampoo and body wash grounded her. Maya was keeping her stable. From holding her while she cried, from forcing her to take showers and eat, for getting her to go on walks outside to clear her mind. Maya had done it all. She’d taken time off from the Station to do so and now was very strategic about her shifts to make sure she could support Carina as best as possible. And Carina was so very thankful.

“Would you come with me?” Carina asked after a few minutes of silence and flipping through old photos. 

“To Italy? Of course. I’ve actually always wanted to travel there,” Maya admitted. “I’d love to go with you, I’d have a world-class tour guide.”

This seemed to awaken Carina a bit, her picking out some photos of places she’d show Maya. “We’d fly into Milan and work our way down. You’d need to take a lot of time off, Italy cannot be seen in a week,” she cautioned with a raised brow and Maya nodded in excitement, pleased to see some light in Carina’s eyes for the first time in weeks. 

“We’d do all the major sights, Venice, Rome, the Amalfi Coast. I could show you where I went to medical school and my old flat in Bologna. But then we’d spend some real-time in Sicily. I don’t know if I’d be able to spare you my father, but I could show you where we grew up. I know all the best restaurants and hidden spots. I’d take you to my grandmother’s town and we’d stay with my cousin, Rosa. You’d really like her, Maya. She’s so tough and funny and she just had a baby. We could go for hikes and walks and bike rides. You’d get so burnt and red but you’d love the food.” 

“That sounds like a dream, Carina. Italy with you? I can’t think of anything better.” Maya almost wanted to cry at the enthusiasm Carina spoke with. She loved Italy so much and sometimes Maya wondered what kept her here in Seattle. Of course, she had Andrew, but now? What did she have now?

“Would you ever move back there?” Maya asked, keeping her tone positive and not trying to worry her mind with scenarios.

“To Italy?” Carina asked before shaking her head. “Maybe one day, in the future. I always pictured myself there when I was older, running a house as my Nonna did. But this is my home now. This is where I reconnected with Andrea and he loved this city so much. I feel like this is where I need to be. I can practice my medicine, I can make a true difference here. I have my connection to Andrea, my friends, and I have you.” Carina answered honestly and it seemed to appease the slight worry she could sense in her girlfriend. 

Eager to change the subject, Maya picked up another photo. It was of Carina and Andrew, both much older. Carina was grinning from ear to ear, Andrew hoisted on top of his sister’s back as he pointed up at something in the sky. The grainy quality led Maya to believe it must have been taken on a cellphone, albeit an older one.

* * *

_Carina breathed in the fresh air, it was unlike anything she’d experienced before. When Andrea said he was using his summer before medical school to shadow at a rural clinic in Maine, Carina thought he was crazy. Maine? Who went to Maine. Carina barely even knew it was a state, it being overshadowed by its more notable and exciting counterparts like California, New York, Texas, and she’d even give credit to Florida._

_But Andrea was serious about it. He was so excited to enter his medical program, having been a bit aimless after graduating. He’d worked as an EMT for a few months and that drove him to apply. It took a year and a half to finish up his pre-requisites and get some shadowing experience, but he made a competitive applicant and had gotten into a few top-tier medical programs. Their mother would have been so proud of him and their father boasted about his two children, despite having not spoken to Andrew in months._

_Carina hadn’t seen Andrea in nearly a year and had booked a flight to Maine, landing first in Boston before transferring onto a smaller flight up to bar-harbor. The Maine summer was admittedly beautiful, the weather gorgeous and bright. It was a far cry in some ways from the hot Sicilian summer she’d grown accustomed to. The seaside was replaced with lakes and the cliffs were replaced with mountains and looming evergreen trees._

_Andrea would never admit it, but he had been so thankful for his sister coming to visit. His nerves regarding medical school were at an all-time high and Carina could settle them. Sure, she was blunt and bossy, but she cared. She never spoke out of spite, only out of concern._

_He had rented a little lakeside cabin for them and they slept on bunkbeds like they were kids at summer camp. They spoke in their rapid-fire Italian, something Andrea had not done with someone in person in so long. They spoke about medicine and life. Carina teased her brother and his lack of a love life while he teased her about the over-rotating flings she had._

_They fished together, memories of the little fishing boat their papa used to bring them out on their mind as they swapped stories. They hiked and drank and joked. It felt so good to just be so carefree._

_The morning before she was due to leave, Andrea woke her up at 4 am, causing Carina to expel quite a few expletives before rising. Andrea would not tell her where they were going, but she blindly followed him up the side of a mountain. Carina complained and complained as they hiked nearly 4 miles uphill, but Andrea promised it would be worth it._

_And when they reached the top, her gasp was audible. The view overlooked a natural valley created by the mountains, green going as far as the eye could see. The sun was just about to rise and a few other groups gathered along the lookout._

_Carina was a world traveler by now and had seen many beautiful sights in her life, but this one was so different. She tended to go to big cultural centers or more tropical climates. The mountains of North East Maine had never been on her bucket list, but the pure undisturbed nature that they were looking over was awe-inspiring._

_They had simply just stared, looking over the mountains together and soaking up the moment. It was Carina’s stomach growling that spurred them out of their stupor. Andrea handed her a granola bar and said they should leave but she stopped him._

_Finding a young group of guys she gave one her phone and asked for them to take their photo. They posed for one nice one side by side before Andrea tapped into his playful side and jumped on his sister’s back - the moment frozen in time on her phone._

* * *

“I’m glad I got to know him,” Maya said as Carina wrapped up her story. The relationship between the DeLuca siblings could be strained at times, both of them so very stubborn. But their love was so deep. After his program, Andrew had moved into a small studio near the hospital, finding that his own space allowed him to feel more in control. 

With Covid, getting together had been difficult initially, but with them all getting tested regularly, they had begun to feel more comfortable. Andrew had joined them initially on a socially distanced picnic at Gasworks park and their relationship was timid. Carina and Andrea spoke in Italian more often than not, Maya picking out words here and there until Carina would translate.

It was Andrew who scolded his sister for being rude and switched the conversation primarily to English. 

It had been weeks later at a small dinner at her and Carina’s apartment that they bonded. They had traded war stories about EMT and ER shifts, regaling the wildest stories they’d experienced or heard about. Soon their conversation was interrupted by a flurry of Italian swear words that Maya was quickly growing accustomed to and the smell of smoke. Normally an excellent cook, Carina had managed to start a small grease fire that Maya was able to promptly put out, but their food was ruined.

Carina had offered to go pick up some food from a Mexican place that Andrea liked, leaving them both awkwardly sitting in silence for a few minutes until Andrew began mocking his sister’s swearing. They exchanged playful Carina stories and it was like the ice broke between them. They created a little bond, the two most important people in Carina’s life. 

_“You know, you’re my favorite girlfriend that Carina’s ever had.”_

He was not her brother, but Maya did feel an ache for Andrew. They could have grown close together. She could picture holidays with Andrew over and inside jokes all at the expense of Carina. But they’d never have that together. It made her long for Mason.

“He approved of you, Maya. He was glad we were together.” Carina slid her lips against Maya’s, a rare occurrence these days, and they both reveled at the moment. 

“I know it will never bring him back, but Andrew is everywhere. He’s in these photos. And his laugh is still in this living room. He’s at the park and in the hospital. He’s here.” Maya’s hand settled over Carina’s heart and the woman sighed. It would get easier. Bit by bit.

* * *

_“Andrea!” Carina called, watching the little boy splashing in the tidepools, his curls blowing in the wind. His laugh was infectious as his splashing soaked his shorts._

_“Andrea! What a trouble maker you are,” She called out as she moved closer to the young boy, wanting to give him some independence but be right there in case he needed it._

_The young boy looked up at her and gave a mischievous grin before bolting in the other direction. Carina struggled to keep up with him on the slippery rocks and worried for his safety momentarily until he was scooped up, his whines of protest falling to the wind._

_“You’re scaring your mama,” Maya scolded lightly as she settled their son onto her hip. “You already have a booboo, right there.” She pointed to his knee where he had a bandaid covering a scrape from earlier that day._

_“He takes after you, running off like that,” Carina said, closing the distance between them and pressing a kiss on Andrea’s head before doing the same for Maya._

_“Are you going to be a track star like Mommy? Huh, are you, AJ?” Maya asked, punctuating each word with a tickle to her three-year-old son’s belly. He had grown so much the past summer, now moving past the toddler stage and looking like such a little boy. Carina’s family always compared him to Andrew._

_Maya put their son down and he settled onto a rock, grabbing a nearby stick and swishing it in the tidepool water, his little laughs causing them both to smile._

_“He’s going to be a good boy, just like his uncle,” Carina said firmly and Maya took her wife into her arms and nodded._

_“He’s going to be the best,” Maya added before AJ decided to join in on the fun._

_“The best!”_


End file.
